Run to Him
He thinks just a little push would let him do what he desires. Just a little push, he is so into someone he just met.
He told me, he would be sacrificing all his efforts. He has changed, but he did not know why he isn’t happy with the changes. As a friend, I told him not to dive into his past, because he’s doing just fine, as what we thought is right for him. Under the norms of society, except maybe in that city in California, he is doing just right.
He asked me then, will he go for it? I said no. Maybe he was quite puzzled, because I was the go-for-it-regardless-of-the-risks kind of girl. He has known me for that trait back in our UP days. I love him as he was before, and I love him more now that he has changed, and I missed him because he’s abroad. The last time we chat, it was the first time that I disagree with him. I told him that God is so good that He wants to lead him to the right path. I am a changed woman too, that was why I did not push him.
I promised our Lord God too, and my yearning now is to follow His path. I know I am not worthy of His love, and yet, He is always there for me. He is also there for you, friend... Go run to Him.
The changes were difficult at first, but you will get through it. Remember, bro, we can be happy even if we can’t have all that we wish for. Don't go back on that road, you've been there many times in the past and i know how badly you've been hurt. Go where God wants you to go, He'll walk with you.
I Will Run to You – [Hillsongs]
Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth
to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen
You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand
And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace
Friday, July 11, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
FALSE HOPES aren't that bad after all
I am prone to pain. My middle name is vulnerable. Whew.
My friends told me not to believe in feng shui. And i wonder why almost all of the forecasts in the year of the horse are happening. I even told one pal i desperately want to disappear for months and reappear on the year of the ... whatever animal it is, i just want to welcome 2009 in June (very impossible to happen).
Too many issues, i could barely get hold of some of them, and if i could, I'd surely land on the hospital. My health is affected, I'm having frequent attacks. I needed the therapy of writing, of reading, of watching feel-good movies.
Last night i cried again and even though I'm trying my best not to shed a tear, i lost once again because of a false hope.
In my almost 30 years on earth, i have learned a lot, in relationships, in life itself and in keeping up the sanity. The first serious relationship i had was the hardest to forget, that i honestly became desperate to repair the irreparable. The guy gave me false hopes that i mistakenly viewed as moves for reconciliation but i found out he just used me. From that moment on, i promised myself i will never let anyone hurt me that much. Nobody, even my friends, can lure me into believing lies. I thought i could conquer the signals of false hopes, until last night.
Maybe i care for the person too much that i overlooked the truth in the promises. The promises of love and of making up and picking up the pieces. I cried because i didn't like the feeling. i hate the feeling of hoping, of desperation, of looking stupid. i don't want to look like I'm begging. I don't want to be the "last straw guy" because nobody is around except me. I have a need to be needed, but i don't want to be available just because the most desired person is not around.
I could accept the fact that i am not included in the priority list. But please, the false hopes that were given were way too obvious. Trust is a word i hardly give today. I'm looking at these untrue hopes as my guidelines. i don't want to be used anymore.
I am prone to pain. My middle name is vulnerable. Whew.
My friends told me not to believe in feng shui. And i wonder why almost all of the forecasts in the year of the horse are happening. I even told one pal i desperately want to disappear for months and reappear on the year of the ... whatever animal it is, i just want to welcome 2009 in June (very impossible to happen).
Too many issues, i could barely get hold of some of them, and if i could, I'd surely land on the hospital. My health is affected, I'm having frequent attacks. I needed the therapy of writing, of reading, of watching feel-good movies.
Last night i cried again and even though I'm trying my best not to shed a tear, i lost once again because of a false hope.
In my almost 30 years on earth, i have learned a lot, in relationships, in life itself and in keeping up the sanity. The first serious relationship i had was the hardest to forget, that i honestly became desperate to repair the irreparable. The guy gave me false hopes that i mistakenly viewed as moves for reconciliation but i found out he just used me. From that moment on, i promised myself i will never let anyone hurt me that much. Nobody, even my friends, can lure me into believing lies. I thought i could conquer the signals of false hopes, until last night.
Maybe i care for the person too much that i overlooked the truth in the promises. The promises of love and of making up and picking up the pieces. I cried because i didn't like the feeling. i hate the feeling of hoping, of desperation, of looking stupid. i don't want to look like I'm begging. I don't want to be the "last straw guy" because nobody is around except me. I have a need to be needed, but i don't want to be available just because the most desired person is not around.
I could accept the fact that i am not included in the priority list. But please, the false hopes that were given were way too obvious. Trust is a word i hardly give today. I'm looking at these untrue hopes as my guidelines. i don't want to be used anymore.
Monday, May 19, 2008
JAPAN TO THE MAX
my recent post in the bulletin section created diverse feedbacks... some were amazed because they liked my words, they had fun actually.
someone highlighted my post and broadcasted it to different departments as if im the villain here and not the victim (arggh im tired of u, kelan ka magbabago? kainis ka na)
some advised me to stop.
i just cant imagine you people.
that somebody in particular, and a lot more from her group, hurt me thru their ways, and i fought back thru writing, the world turned upside down and im the one to blame???????????
Geez, peepz, have u gone mad?Think. I never started this. DOnt point ur finger at me.
Dr. Jose Rizal fought back thru writing. Mas nakasusugat.
I always bear that in mind.
Im not a hero wannabe. I just want them to know that i can defend myself and my family.
Pero nababaligtad na, sheeet talaga.........nababaligtad.
Minsan subukan nyo naman na sya yung patigilin.
U saw what i did in this bulletin, why cant u see what she did to me and to all who hated her?
STop????????????
Stop atienza, paging stop atienza, i need a hug.
someone highlighted my post and broadcasted it to different departments as if im the villain here and not the victim (arggh im tired of u, kelan ka magbabago? kainis ka na)
some advised me to stop.
i just cant imagine you people.
that somebody in particular, and a lot more from her group, hurt me thru their ways, and i fought back thru writing, the world turned upside down and im the one to blame???????????
Geez, peepz, have u gone mad?Think. I never started this. DOnt point ur finger at me.
Dr. Jose Rizal fought back thru writing. Mas nakasusugat.
I always bear that in mind.
Im not a hero wannabe. I just want them to know that i can defend myself and my family.
Pero nababaligtad na, sheeet talaga.........nababaligtad.
Minsan subukan nyo naman na sya yung patigilin.
U saw what i did in this bulletin, why cant u see what she did to me and to all who hated her?
STop????????????
Stop atienza, paging stop atienza, i need a hug.
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