I have been hearing good reviews about this little restaurant in the province of Laguna, an hour ride from my lanzones town. Other bloggers who have gone to that italian resto have high praises with the food on the menu.
Intrigued and having the unstoppable undeniable urge or kashukawan (gay lingo hehe), I, together with my sister and my two angelic nieces, went to a nearby town to buy some shoes and sandals. Last on the itinerary is to visit the renowned Cafe.
After the kagiliw-giliw mala-shopaholic store-to-store hopping, we ended up with the following: 1 pair of black shoes for chelli, 2 pairs of pink sandals for dielli, one classy sandals for sisteraka, one black sandals for me, and 3 slip-ons for sisteraka or me (or to would-be houseguest/s); cakes, bread and pastries and sampaloc candies (hehe drooling).
At last, (and i can't imagine how excited we were), we dramatically entered the cafe. The "dramatically" thingy is surreal, i just made it up. Haha. The drama came after we were seated.
One gay waiter handed the menu, each for the three of us. Maybe you are confused, i just want to make it clear that Dielli is just 8 months old, she can't read. Hehe. And Chelli, although she can't read, yet, she understands pictures there. Yes, the menu list has artistic layout, nice representations (daw) of the italian delicacies.
And because it was our first visit, it took us time to decide what to order. Little did i know that the gay waiter (GW) was behind me, i honestly thought he went inside, near the counter. Like the normal thing, in some nice classy cafes or restaurants in hotels, waiters will give you YOUR time to choose for YOUR food, time to browse the menu, time to decide, stuff like that, and i believe these mentioned blah blah are the basics. Common sense.
GW did go back near the counter after about less than 3minutes of waiting (was that too long?), for when i was ready to order, sis said "Umalis na sya, dapat kase di agad tumayo dyan. Ayan, mainipin naman pala."
I caught GW, Mr. Grumpy, mumbling probably some curse or hate remarks, and the "pay for my smile" waitress on his side was listening. GW may have called me names i don't want to know. When he saw me looking at him, he really had the nerve to stare at me for about 5 bloody seconds, and then gave me a snappish look so sharp i almost stumble. What a sweet human being.
See, was that acceptable? No, considering all waiters should be polite, friendly and approachable. This GW as a W (hehehe can you still catch up with my acronyms? =) should not acted as if he was the customer and i, the waitress. Or maybe he is a member of the Urian, inuri-uri nya kami, he chew my head off, the moment we barged in and gave me an E rating. A for Richie Rich, B for Middle Class, C for Medyo Mababa Konti sa Middle Class so on and so forth. I am an E. I am an "itsy bitsy no-VIP ordinary-doesn't need polite treatment" E. Because I was just wearing a simple Old Navy pink shirt and a black underpants, plus original havaianas slippers (maybe i'm allowed to brag my pairs because they're original, just this time, just for the sake of GW), he perhaps gave me an E because i was wearing a pair of TSINELAS. Hmmmm if i was dressed in my office attire would the treatment be different? Baka at kalabaw, buset. I am comfy with my choice of clothes, what is wrong with GW? Enough with this Alien, let's attack the peymuz food.
Hmm, we ordered shakes, variety. Mine was strawberry, chelli had milk with oreo cookies (? not sure) and sisteraka had mocha. The strawberry was good, but not that good, compared to my fave version at The Sidewalk Cafe. (Kudos to Malot hehe)
Sis tried the steak; beef was good (sirloin); veggies were good too... and the... huh? Was that mashed potato? Like GW, it lacks spark, magic, charisma, softness, in short, dull and dry. Sisteraka knows how to cook honest-to-goodness mashed potato. And her hubby can cook better buttered veggies, this is fun like a tongue twister... better buttered veggies. Hehe. Enough of that. Next...
Waffles with sorbetes... err... ice cream hehehe. Of course, it was good, may ice cream ba nmn sa ibabaw saka syrup, so you know what i mean.
Dulce the leche cheese cake. It wasn't a cheese cake although it was kinda weird for it was called a cheese cake, jeez... It was not good. Ask my niece.
Another weird blueberry cheese cake, same reason as the above-mentioned thingy.
The peymuz (again) bread pudding. So-so. Ask (again) my niece. Kids don't lie.
And my lasagna, which i ordered for my self, (sympre kakain ako, tao ako), this GW forgot to include MY ORDER in his notepad. I waited for about 10 mins before my pasta came, and take note, i had to remind him of MY ORDER. Should i mumble curses and orasyon ng bruhaha, just to get even? What did he scribbled in his note pad? A monster with eyes same as mine? And because i am a nice person unlike GW, im giving the beef lasagna a grade of 87%. I liked the taste of the 2 inches by 3 inches by 3 inches Php180 beef lasagna. The measurement is surreal, again, i just made it up. The real thingy wasn't really measured because i forgot my ruler.
Mala-CSI, lets study this. Report: GW hates to wait for orders, contradicting the rule waiter should patiently wait. Waiter waits (ansaya nito, may rhyme). First time diners from Payti, ang gaganda pa nmn haha, pumangit ang mood because of GW. Imbey si GW because of approximately 3mins of waiting for our order. GW's FACE WAS LIKE A THEATER STAGE, THE SARCASM WAS PRESENT. Take note: First time customers, meaning, first time to see the menu list.
Conclusion: If you want to impress GW, you should borrow the Menu a day before ordering, so GW won't be bothered to wait for 3 mins to pick your choice of food. Conclusion (sub 1): GW is really an Alien. Too bad, i love gays, i have tons of gay friends, why did this GW fail to sense my fondness for gay peeps? I would have given him a pair of original havaianas as a gift.
Conclusion (sub 2): the potato is not a potato, i recognized it as kumpareng kamote, a pretend potato (hahhahaha i love the thought, funny har har) i dunno. i tasted it, maybe my taste buds suffered trauma from GW too, can't decide between a mashed potato and a mashed kamote.
Lessons learned: I spent almost a thousand pesos for meals we do not enjoyed, and staff we instantly abhor. We have high expectations because of the reviews, and i thought the food there are special, they look good in those pictures though. Just for comparison, we love the staff at Vista's Arts & Cafe (another cute cafe where we can breathe) more than this recently visited resto.
I dunno, correct me if i'm wrong, i can smell bigotry because of GW (haha bawal ang hindi naka crosswind! buset), even if we don't have a bonggalorang karu, that doesn't mean my nine west wallet isn't capable of paying our bills. The happy thing is, we were delighted in a few tsinelas and sapatos we bought. We like to keep this nearby town in our hearts, with its products. We already buried the bad omen of GW.
And because of this, i cooked Chicken Caldereta, a day after that Liwaliw. Got the recipe from the internet, improvised a little, added some secret spices (don't worry, no harmful ingredients or that pretend potato). Spent less than 500.
