NARCISSISM and a whole lot more

Its been months. I'm back. Not because I am inspired to write, but because I'm pissed. But i wont turn this into a "hate blog" that's unhealthy, you might hit the back button on your keys to return to facebook and start farming again... (hehehe).

Anyway, I'm pissed. Yes I am. And with due respect, i am trying to control it... Thanks to an old buddy who knows me and my mood swings. Gilbert, an ally i'll never forget, said i should have a vision. And because im angry, i said to him "i can't SEE... my stat says EMO" and he laughed. He KNOWS me!!

We chatted for a coupla minutes, he asked questions, i tried answering without these %^&*$#$, hehehehe. And i admit to him i can't talk when im angry because i know now how it (my anger) would turn things out... its not gonna be good, i can REALLY tell. as for reference, here is the "control c + control v" of our chat:

FB chat

Dc

you need to talk

11:32pmMhey

wag muna, galit pa ako... u know me when im angry im a bitch... i dont like myself when im angry... lalong mapapasama... dirediretso bibig ko, kadalasan hindi ko gusto yung sinasabi ko pero lumalabas sa bibig ko walang remote control, walang pause, walang stop

11:33pmDc

hahahaha

11:38pmMhey

im gonna write a blog

hahahahaha

again.

11:38pmDc

good

maybe about

how to pause when you're angry

11:39pmMhey

my outlet

correct!!

ahahaha

so there. verbatim. unedited.

Gilbert also said to me, i should learn how to love myself. I told him, "are you Narcissus?" ... he laughed again. On the other hand, he has a point, i mean Gilbert has a point. A little narcissism should do the trick, as i told him:

Mhey

hindi ko na nga nagagawa yun, mas iniintindi ko ang ibang bagay bago ang sarili

para akong si Rizal

hahahahaha

mas susyal yung sayo, si Narcissus ay foreigner hahaha

11:18pmDc

hahahahahaha

i sooo miss Gilbert and im glad that i found him again online. This kind of talk really helped. Maybe God knows my needs, He gave him the urge to get online. Sweet.

As i compose myself not to turn into a Hungarian Horntail (most dangerous of all the dragons in Harry Potter hehehehe), i'll keep my distance and i'll pause. This way, im rewarding myself an improvised remote control of emotions.

And ill take the advice, though im not good at it (abhor advices, especially unsolicited ones), im giving it to my kapatid na Gilbert....... ill be a bit Narcisa and enjoy ME.

:)